When it person gets involved in crime, it is often said that they are “in deep.” Perhaps at no time in the history of criminality has that been truer than in the case of seemingly clueless Matthew Bloomquist, 29, of Hawick, Minnesota, as the New York Post has confirmed.
This “bungling burglar” seemed almost resolved to his fate as he smoked a cigarette on the side of the road, his getaway pick-up truck entrenched in manure, and at least one show=e stuck int he muck. Bloomquist was waist deep in the sticky stench at one point, a fact revealed by the stains on this clothing when police arrived to arrest him, Stearns County Sheriff Don Gudmundson reported.
Everything about the getaway turned out all wrong and his chance at success was flushed.
“He was wearing jean shorts over long underwear and no shoes, which the deputies assumed were somewhere in the manure pile,” the lawman said in a filed report.
“Something doesn’t smell right,” he added. “Obviously this encounter was accompanied by a strong smelling odor. Add to that the fair amount of rain we received over the weekend and you have a nice blend.”
Thankfully, the man was hosed off before being taken to jail to be booked “on burglary and possession of stolen property charges.”
“The trip to the jail was made with the windows open,” admitted Gunderson. The patrol car that transported the criminal “still reeked as of Thursday.”
It became known that Bloomquist was “caught snatching lumber and other items from a farm shed in Maine Prairie Township.” When the owner called to report the theft, he said that the suspect was still on his property, stuck in the animal waste.
He also reported seeing two men, but one of the pair managed to flee. Hours had been spent by the two bumblers as they attempted to free to truck from the smelly situation.
When asked about the ordeal, Bloomquist stated that his “friend” purchased the lumber and that he was merely trying to help him. His story didn’t seem to have much merit since the suspect was found guilty in 2012 of burglary and he has had “two arrests for possession of burglary tools,” confirmed the St. Paul Pioneer-Press.
One of those tools was clearly not an efficient getaway vehicle.
With a rap sheet dating back over six years, it is safe to say that Mr. Bloomquist has a hard time making the right decision.
When it comes to crime, he is just “crappy” at it.