PUBLISHED: 12:56 AM 6 Oct 2016
UPDATED: 5:52 AM 6 Oct 2016

Someone Forgot To Delete Staff List, Pizza Shop Being Used For Enemy Front

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It’s All Crumbling Down

Well if it isn’t our favorite Speaker of the House—or was she a pizza parlor owner named “Phillip”? The sneaky little snake in the grass is both. Is it one of those transgender deals going on lately? No. Does Pelosi somehow juggle her White House position with the delicious demands of baking Pizzas? Nope.

In case a reminder is needed, “money laundering” is defined as:

the concealment of the origins of illegally obtained money, typically by means of transfers involving foreign banks or legitimate businesses.

Example: ‘Nancy Pelosi is guilty of money laundering.’

The hacker known as Guccifer 2.0 leaked a rather large number of documents two days ago. One of them showed Nancy Pelosi registered the email Philip@GoatHill.com (the same Goat Hill Pizza located at a parlor in San Francisco, California). Mrs. Pelosi even checked into Goat Hill on Four Square.

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Could Have Just Not Left A Trail, Pretty Simple Stuff

Philip DeAndrade—a former government staff member under Pelosi—is listed as the owner of Goat Hill Pizza. His email is also Philip@GoatHill.com. Could it possibly be? Could Philip and Nancy Pelosi be one in the same? Undoubtedly, yes. This little scheme Pelosi’s pulling is called a “front”. Legitimate business in the front, shady illegal activity in the back.

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*X-Files Theme*

Broken down, here are the steps Pelosi takes to wash the money clean of any connections so that it can be donated to a political campaign without violating the Hatch Act and ending up on the Clinton Foundation’s list of people in need of arresting.

Step 1: The real Philip DeAndrade, under Pelosi’s instruction, buys a legitimate business under his real name when he isn’t working for the government any longer.
Step 2: Nancy Pelosi, like an idiot, puts her own real name on the email signup for GoatHill.com, thus making herself into Philip online and providing a paper trail for us to find.

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Again, Paper Trail

Step 3: Register the domain name in Panama to make data requests more complicated.

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Panama Has Wacky Laws

Step 4: Find a loophole to make money appear out of thin air. In this case, a wage subsidies program.

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Displayed Proudly

Step 5: Money cleaned. Untraceable unless more leaks come out.

A Wage Subsidies Program is meant to protect employers from losing out on money do to hiring an unqualified, unskilled worker. Advocates of the program just say “more people will get hired because employers won’t be taking any risk.” A business hires someone, they do poorly, get fired, and the government reimburses the employer for losses. Perfect! Now all you’d need to make money seemingly appear out of nowhere is to create a subsidies program, enroll in it, advocate it, fund it, buy a front, “hire” employees, fire them indiscriminately, and get reimbursed. Rinse, repeat.

Money cleaned.

The problem here is, there’s no way to get into a wage subsidies program if none exists—and none exists. However, Mrs. Hillary Clinton is an advocate for wage subsidies, and over the years there have been several fund raising events to push the program through. In at least two years, 2010 and 2012, Goat Hill Pizza donated to such a fundraising event.

Criminals are nothing if not clever.

To get this perfectly clear; Nancy Pelosi laundered money through a front to appear as if Philip legally donated to a fund raiser for wage subsidies, which in and of itself is a money laundering scheme. This woman is a laundromat. If you’re wondering whether or not this can be proved in a court of law; the answer is “yes, it sure can.”

Money laundering has historically been difficult to prove without physical evidence, as opposed to circumstantial. With these documents, any prosecutor—especially a fired-up newbie—would jump at the opportunity. Such a prosecutor would have to establish intent and motive.

So let’s do that.

In the same Guccifer 2.0 leak, Nancy Pelosi was found on a list of people who received money through yet another loophole. She received funds by funneling them through government bailouts (TARP) directly to herself—and not just her. Dozens upon dozens of Democrats, and billions (that’s nine zeros) of dollars are involved.

In 2011, Pelosi and several other members of Congress were alleged to have used the confidential information they were given for insider trading. Nancy Pelosi called the accusation a “right-wing smear.” That’s a common defense for Democrats. But despite her best efforts, Pelosi’s shady actions were what shed light on the insider trading within our government. And thus the STOCK Act, which makes it a federal offense to do what Pelosi did, was passed.

Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has a partisan bias, lied about shady dealings in the past, and earned money at least two separate times by using her office’s resources illegally. History, intent, and motive. These leaks are no longer a ‘death by a thousand cuts’ deal. The past few weeks have turned this into a ‘death by non-stop artillery bombardment.’ Congress has held an astonishing number of emergency meetings in an attempt to deal with this newly discovered evidence we call ‘leaks.’

This is more like a flood.