Sessions’ Face Used

PUBLISHED: 7:12 PM 2 Mar 2018

Marijuana Company Reaches Out To AG Sessions, Puts His Face On Rolling Papers

They state they want to show him that marijuana users aren’t criminals.

No, that's not the zig-zag man.

“Don’t Beauregard that joint, my friend.” No, that’s not the zig-zag man. Now, you too can proudly roll your own, using #JeffSesh “General Jeff’s ‘Old Rebel’ Session” rolling papers.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions is well known as an opponent of marijuana use but he started the new year off by declaring a much tougher stance.

The overwhelming success of this obvious publicity stunt is sure to outrage lawmakers into action. Sessions has a point that Congress should be writing the laws, not the Justice Department. Executive orders are only meant to provide guidance.

At $5 a pack, you can order the controversial product either directly from their page or from Etsy, with a choice of white or black background packaging.

Both “display Sessions’ face with a joint in his mouth.” The only difference is that the black is marked “limited edition.” You better order quick though, supplies are rapidly dwindling.

AG Jeff Sessions has such a hardcore “reefer madness” mentality, he has practically threatened to have pot smokers shot through the lungs. He wants to go back to the Nancy Reagan “just say no” days.

“Previous nationwide guidance specific to marijuana enforcement is unnecessary and is rescinded, effective immediately,” a memo he put out in January reads.

He doubled down on his fanatical hostility in a recent speech to the Heritage Foundation. He and President Trump refuse to “reduce sentences for nonviolent drug offenders.” Drugs are not “recreation,” he insists.

Marijuana users did not choose the term “recreational use,” to denote being able to obtain and consume cannabis without having to jump through the hoop of obtaining a “prescription.” A better term would be “discretionary use.”

At the event celebrating Ronald Reagan, famous for his “war on drugs.” Sessions remarked, “Lax enforcement, permissive rhetoric, and the media have undermined the essential need to say no to drug use.”

Hard working Americans who regularly consume cannabis are pushing back. What started out as a tongue in cheek response by a couple of guys using the handle #JeffSesh, went totally viral.

The top of their web page declares, “The US Attorney General believes: ‘Good People Don’t Smoke Marijuana’ He’s wrong. We’re fighting back!”

“We’re not criminals, junkies or idiots. Regular Jeffs all over the country — good, responsible, patriotic Americans — have a sesh now and then… and it’s OK!” The website assures.

“Our intent in actually making these papers is to poke a little good-natured fun at our Attorney General, who doesn’t seem to have changed his mind or read any news about cannabis since the Nixon-era,” a #JeffSesh spokesman explained to reporters.

Sessions’ ideas about grass, the group’s representative states, “have the potential to harm millions of Americans who use this plant safely and legally in 2018.”

On their web page, #JeffSesh posts, “Cannabis provides relief and uplifting energy to millions of users, from serious medical patients in 29 states to recreational consumers in 8 states.”

They also point out that “12 states are considering new legalization measures this year.”

It is time to come up with a realistic solution, not stay mired in the muck of denial, they say. “A priority declared by the previous administration encouraged federal investigators to respect states’ legal cannabis rights and prioritize other concerns, like national security

Jeff Sessions rolled that back. #JeffSesh tells him we’re not going back.”

“Every time you sesh with any brand of JeffSesh papers, you’re helping keep the law moving forward — and not back to the Nixon era,” their website proclaims. “You’re saying we’ve moved on, Jeff.”

The group wants to remind our Attorney General that “64 percent of the country approves of legalization, as of the latest count by Gallup.”

Another thing they note is that DEA’s Chief Administrative Law Judge in 1988, Francis L. Young, issued a ruling regarding the reclassification of marijuana.

It said, “Marijuana in its natural form is one of the safest therapeutically active substances known to man. By any measure of rational analysis, marijuana can be safely used.”

The judge also added, “it would be unreasonable, arbitrary and capricious for DEA to continue to stand between those sufferers and the benefits of this substance in light of the evidence in this record.”

As an extra added bonus, our Attorney General has also been honored with his very own strain of marijuana.

“Jeff Sesh-ons” was tailored as “a sativa-leaning hybrid of Jet Fuel and Bio Diesel” and is the brainchild of one Denver dispenser, Medicine Man. “We have a little fun with some strains occasionally,” the shop’s director of retail operations relates.

One reviewer said it is “old, overpriced, harsh and tasteless.” Another posts, “the effects should induce dullness and the ability to be completely useless.”

#JeffSesh doesn’t specify how the proceeds will be directed but it is possible a big chunk will go to their legal defense team after the AG sues them for unlicensed use of his likeness.