PUBLISHED: 7:53 PM 11 Jan 2018

Drunken Theft Causes Mass Chaos As Supermarket Smashed, Suspect Wanted More

"Getting tanked" took on an all new meaning when a drunk Russian man stole a tank.

“Getting tanked” took on an all new meaning when a drunk Russian man stole a tank.

Drinking and driving is never a good idea. It is outright dangerous and often ends in disaster. In an average car, it can be deadly, but a recent theft in Russia pushed the boundaries one step further. An intoxicated young man managed to steal a tank to drive through the streets. His crime spree ended in a smashed storefront and an odd story.

While it was odd enough that the young adult hopped into a tank for a joyride, his reasoning was even stranger. The 22-year-old was already extremely drunk, but he wanted to run to the local supermarket for another bottle of wine. It seemed to make sense to him to creatively “borrow” a tank to run to the store.

As with many cases of drunk driving, the tank driver ran into a bit of an issue controlling the vehicle. While the armored military grade vehicle protected the driver from harm, it created chaos on the city streets. There was a substantial amount of damage to cars on the road including one Daewoo that was utterly crushed.

When most people think about tanks, they assume at least some connection to the military. In this case, the tank was not taken from the armed forces. The tank is owned by a private group that does logistical training and war games in the woods that surround the town. This type of training program is not unusual in the area; the small town is located just south of the Arctic circle in Russia.

Since the tank was privately owned, it was far easier to steal. The thief broke into the remote location and drove the armored vehicle through the snow-covered forest. Even though he was extremely drunk, he was able to secure the vehicle.

Once the young man was inside the tank, he drove it through the forest. This seemed to be the safest part of his trip since he did little to no damage off the road. Using less than solid judgment because he was already far too drunk, the man then took the tank into the town.

As with many small towns in that part of Russia, the streets are both winding and narrow. They run between buildings that contain locals family-owned shops and apartments. Narrow roads that meander back and forth do not mix well with large armored vehicles in the best of circumstances. An intoxicated driver behind the wheel did nothing to improve the situation.

The narrow streets were no match for a drunk behind the wheel of a massive tank. Many of the cars parked along the road were damaged as the driver focused on his end game. He needed to buy more wine. His night of binge drinking was not over just because he ran out of wine.

Towards the end of his trip to the local store to buy more wine, the driver ran into another hiccup. It was now the middle of the night, and the shop was closed. There were no local stores that were able to sell wine at this late hour anyway.

Since not having a vehicle to drive to the store seemed to be an easy problem to solve with the tank, his logic continued as he decided to use it to address his next challenge. A closed supermarket was no match for an intoxicated driver on a mission to stay drunk.

At this point in the night, the tank was no longer just a way to get to the store. It was also a weapon to bust open the wall of the retailer. The man did what most drunk tank drivers would do; he drove through anything in his way including the front of the family-owned store.

Once the tank was inside the store, it was relatively easy to steal a bottle of wine. The man was not greedy in his theft, he took a single bottle of wine and put it in his stolen tank.

One might assume it was alarming for people on the street to watch him drive through the front of the store, but this did not seem to be the case. Several witnesses took video of the event and joked about the theft with reporters later. Perhaps in this part of Russia, this thing happens more than one would expect? It is safe to assume that the friends of the driver will think twice about joining him the next time he suggests they all “go get tanked.”